"YOU ARE A TERRIBLE LITTLE DEVIATOR, FREDDY, AND YOU ARE IN A DIABOLICAL LOT OF BOTHER"

I'M CURRENTLY READING SOME DEREK RAYMOND BOOKS. FIRST READ ONE LAST YEAR, I WAS DORA SUAREZ. WASN'T COMPLETELY SURE WHAT I THOUGHT OF IT. IT WAS DARK, AN EXPRESSION OF SOMETHING BUT I WAS A BIT "WELL, WHAT'S ACTUALLY THE POINT OF ALL THIS NOIR-ESQUE, BLACK NOVEL, HAVING A PEER INTO THE HUMAN SOUL AND FILTH LARK FOR? WHAT'S IT ACTUALLY SAYING?"

THEN I READ "HE DIED WITH HIS EYES OPEN". BLOODY CLASS INDEED. MADE ME LAUGH, SCREAM, THINK, FEEL EXHILIRATED.

I WOULD JUMP UP AND GO "THAT'S FUCKING POETRY, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPRESS THAT" AFTER READING SOME PARTICULARLY CHOICE DIALOGUE.

THERE'S A VIRILITY AND A HARDNESS TO IT BUT THAT COMES FROM SOMEWHERE GENUINE, NOT ALL TOUGH NUT FLASH GANGSTER WANNABE-NESS. MOCKNEY TYPES TAKE NOTE.

AND THEN I READ ONE BIT AND ALL THIS STARING DOWN AT THE SORDID FILTH THAT CAN BE THE HUMAN SOUL KIND OF MADE SENSE:

"THOUGH STANILAND HAD DIED AT THE AGE OF FIFTY-ONE, HE STILL HAD THE INNOCENCE OF A CHILD OF SIX. THE NAIVE COURAGE TOO - THE DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING, WHATEVER THE COST.

THIS FRAGILE SWEETNESS AT THE CORE OF PEOPLE-IF WE ALLOWED THAT TO BE KICKED, SMASHED AND SPLINTERED, THEN WE HAD NO SOCIETY AT ALL OF THE KIND I FELT I HAD TO UPHOLD. I HAD COMMITTED MY OWN SINS AGAINST IT, OUT OF TRANSIENT WEAKNESS.

BUT I HADN'T DELIBERATELY MURDERED IT FOR IT'S PITIFUL MEMBRANE OF A LITTLE BORROWED MONEY, IT'S SHORT LIVED PROTECTIVE SHELL."

...AND I GUESS THAT ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TOO DISSIMILAR TO MY OWN PHILOSOPHY. I TEND TO VOUCH THINGS IN MORE OVERTLY ECONOMIC TERMS, A KIND OF "YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCK PEOPLE OVER TO SURVIVE" ANTI-MONOPOLISTIC CAPITALISM RANT AND CREED BUT FUNDAMENTALLY WHAT I'M COMMENTING ON IS NOT ALL THAT DISSIMILAR.

I DO GENUINELY BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MONEY GRABBING CUNT ABOUT THINGS, THAT YOU CAN TREAT LIFE WITH RESPECT... AND THAT LIFE IS ABOUT BEING HONEST, HAVING A GOOD OLD STARE AND THINK AND SORTING OUT OF THINGS THAT MAYBE AREN'T THAT EASY TO HAVE A LOOK AND STARE AND SORT OUT OF... AND A PASSION AND BELIEF IN THINGS I GUESS. A LACK OF MEDIOCRITY. A LACK OF CULTURAL AND LIFE TREACHERY.

"FROM EACH ACCORDING TO THEIR ABILITY, TO EACH ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS" AS A BEARDED CHAP ONCE SAID.

A CHAP CALLED JAY TAYLOR, WHO USED TO RUN THE NIGHT AND DAY IN MANCHESTER AND IS IN A BAND CALLED BONEBOX ONCE SAID TO ME THAT CRIME FICTION IS OFTEN IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF THE ONE LINES IN IT THAT CAN SAY A LOT. IT'S OFTEN A PARAGRAPH OR TWO BUT WHAT I FIND SEPARATES THE BLACK BOOK FROM THROW AWAY TRASH IS THE POINT AT WHICH THEY ATTEMPT TO SHINE LIGHT ON THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, TO ATTEMPT TO SHOW SOME KIND OF A WAY AND DIGNITY THROUGH THINGS. NOIR OR BLACK FICTION SEEMS TO ALLOW THE SPACE TO DO THIS, IN THE HANDS OF THE GOOD FOLKS.

"NOBODY WHO MATTERED LIKED HIS SCULPTURE; WHEN I WENT OVER TO HIS COUNCIL STUDIO I UNDERSTOOD WHY... THEY WERE EXTRAORDINARILY GRACEFUL, AND FAR TOO HONEST TO MEAN ANYTHING TO CURRENT TRENDY TASTE. THERE WAS A QUALITY IN THEM THAT NO ARTIST NOWADAYS CAN SEIZE ANYMORE; THEY EXPRESSED VIRTUES-TOUGHNESS, IDEALISM, DETERMINATION-THAT WENT OUT OF STYLE WITH A BANISHED BRITAIN THAT I BARELY RECOGNISED..."

THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I SEEM TO BE RELENTLESSLY FASCINATED BY... A SENSE OF DECENCY AND PASSION, I'LL OFTEN CALL IT BEING A GENT IN A SLIGHTLY HUMOROUS WAY... AND A SENSE THAT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY IDEALISM AS A THOUGHT, NEED AND CONCEPT HAS BEEN LOST. SOMEWHERE THE BAUBLES WE SEEK, WHETHER MATERIAL OR IN THE MIND, HAVE BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE SEEKING, QUESTIONING AND BELIEF. IT'S KIND OF TIED IN WITH MY LOVE AND FASCINATION WITH A PAST THAT NEVER REALLY EXISTED, THAT AND AN INTEREST BUT A DENIAL AND DISLIKE OF FASHIONABLE TRENDS, INTRANSIENCE AND THROW AWAY CULTURE.

OH AND PROPER GENTS IN SUITS AND BOOTS, THE FEELINGS AND AESTHETICS EXPRESSED BY THE LIKE OF TINDERSTICKS, THE FLAMING STARS AND GALLON DRUNK.

"WHAT I'M TRYING TO CAPTURE, HE EXPLAINED, "IS THE LIGHT, THE VISION INSIDE A MAN, AND THE CONVICTION WIHCH THAT LIGHT LENDS HIS ACTION, HIS WHOLE BODY. HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED HOW THE PLANE'S OF A MAN'S BODY ALTER WHEN HE'S IN THE GRIP OF A BELIEF?"

WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO SAY THAN THAT LAST PARAGRAPH?

OH AND ASIDE FROM THE SERIOUS STUFF DEREK RAYMOND WRITES STUFF LIKE "DON'T YOU FALL TO BITS ON ME LIKE A CHEAP SCREWDRIVER", WHICH JUST MAKES ME SMILE, THOUGH IT IS FOLLOWED BY "I'VE TRAINED YOU. YOU JUST BE MY TOUGH, CLEAN, SHITLESS HARVEY".

I'LL LET YOU FIND THE BOOK AND SEE WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT.

...OH, SOME OF HIS STUFF IS JUST ABOUT TO BE AND HAS BEEN JUST RE-RELEASED... AND THEY'VE GOT HALF-DECENT COVERS, NOT SOME GODAWFUL POST-DESIGN STUDENT PHOTOSHOP PRACTISE SESSION. NICE INDEED.

"I'M AFTER SOMETHING IN THE HUMAN SOUL I CAN'T QUITE GRASP
- I READ A LOT OF BOOKS IN MY SPARE TIME"


WRITTEN EARLY 2007